Climb the Ladder with Dignity and Compassion

A woman recently asked me the following question: How can I climb the career ladder and at the same time maintain good relationships with other coworkers while on the way up?  Before I get to the answer, I would like to comment on the question.  The question itself shows a lot of compassion but also insecurity and worry.  It reminds me of my childhood. I wanted to be loved by my peer group and the last thing I wanted was to be different.  We liked to play the games all kids play, and we liked to have the same stuff other kids had.  No exceptions, please; let’s stay equal!  It was hard as a child to see other kids having things you could not get.  As much as I loved them, I envied them and I had to learn to live with the fact that there were differences – differences in looks, attitudes, belongings etc.  We all had to learn that everybody was different and that this had consequences.  For example, if you were good in math, you were the one given the honor in the classroom of solving the difficult question.  If you were a good reader, you were the one given the responsibility of reading out loud to the class.  Being good meant getting all the attention and admiration.

Everybody has different talents and competencies which lead them to a certain position in life.  Some skills come from naturally given talent, but others we have to work for very hard.  We take classes, we read, we learn and we work our way through difficulties.  We don’t give up short of attaining the skills we want. But again, there are differences.  Some people like to learn throughout their lives.  Others stop using their brain after they leave school, or even earlier.  Some are more ambitious to be successful in life than others, and the results reflect the efforts.  Of course, there are countless examples of people working equally hard, but only one of them advances.  The reason might be that one simply got lucky or showed skills that are not related to cognitive learning but to so-called emotional skills.  No matter how we interpret this situation, you will always have leaders and you will always have followers.  There is no leading without following.  Neither role makes you a better or a worse person.  We simply fill the role that hopefully works best for us and for others and allows us to be happy and fulfilled.

At this point I would like to answer the question which led me to talk about childhood and education.  When you are climbing the career ladder, you are still the same person as before.  You were simply selected to take over a leadership role.  The CEO or a board of directors decided that you have the skills to move up the career ladder and take on more responsibility.  Those you have passed by on the way up the ladder are still the same people.  They hopefully appreciate your efforts and your skills as well as the need for somebody to fill in a new leadership role.  If they don’t and if they put obstacles in your way, it is not really your problem but theirs.  If they cannot accept that you might have skills they don’t have which are needed in a certain company situation, they have failed to learn the basic rules from their childhood.  There is nothing you can do about this kind of ignorance.  You can be compassionate but at the same time you must walk your way with dignity and commitment.

The good news is that most co-workers will be on your side even though you have moved ahead of them as long as you stay authentic and continue to be the person you are.  Yes, there are company secrets you cannot share with them and there will be gossip that you can no longer participate in, but overall the good relationships of the past will remain, even when the dynamics will change.  Nevertheless don’t underestimate the unavoidable side effect.  The higher you climb up the corporate ladder, the lonelier it is going to be.  This has nothing to do with co-workers not liking you.  It is the price you pay for being a leader.  Suddenly you must take care of others, while others do not necessarily take care of you.  Don’t worry about what others may think of you and don’t make their attitude your driver for success.  Instead be the best leader you can be, and others will respect you and follow you with enthusiasm.  They might even have coffee with you like in the old days!

Be a woman and act like one.

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Reprinted from “Hertha Wolff-Arend | Be a Woman and Act Like One” a blog  written by Hertha Wolff-Arend.  Subscribe at http://beawomanandactlikeone.com/ and receive Blog updates by email.

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