Climb the Ladder with Dignity and Compassion

A woman recently asked me the following question: How can I climb the career ladder and at the same time maintain good relationships with other coworkers while on the way up?  Before I get to the answer, I would like to comment on the question.  The question itself shows a lot of compassion but also insecurity and worry.  It reminds me of my childhood. I wanted to be loved by my peer group and the last thing I wanted was to be different.  We liked to play the games all kids play, and we liked to have the same stuff other kids had.  No exceptions, please; let’s stay equal!  It was hard as a child to see other kids having things you could not get.  As much as I loved them, I envied them and I had to learn to live with the fact that there were differences – differences in looks, attitudes, belongings etc.  We all had to learn that everybody was different and that this had consequences.  For example, if you were good in math, you were the one given the honor in the classroom of solving the difficult question.  If you were a good reader, you were the one given the responsibility of reading out loud to the class.  Being good meant getting all the attention and admiration.

Climb the Ladder with Dignity and Compassion

Everybody has different talents and competencies which lead them to a certain position in life.  Some skills come from naturally given talent, but others we have to work for very hard.  We take classes, we read, we learn and we work our way through difficulties.  We don’t give up short of attaining the skills we want. But again, there are differences.  Some people like to learn throughout their lives.  Others stop using their brain after they leave school, or even earlier.  Some are more ambitious to be successful in life than others, and the results reflect the efforts.  Of course, there are countless examples of people working equally hard, but only one of them advances.  The reason might be that one simply got lucky or showed skills that are not related to cognitive learning but to so-called emotional skills.  No matter how we interpret this situation, you will always have leaders and you will always have followers.  There is no leading without following.  Neither role makes you a better or a worse person.  We simply fill the role that hopefully works best for us and for others and allows us to be happy and fulfilled.

At this point I would like to answer the question which led me to talk about childhood and education.  When you are climbing the career ladder, you are still the same person as before.  You were simply selected to take over a leadership role.  The CEO or a board of directors decided that you have the skills to move up the career ladder and take on more responsibility.  Those you have passed by on the way up the ladder are still the same people.  They hopefully appreciate your efforts and your skills as well as the need for somebody to fill in a new leadership role.  If they don’t and if they put obstacles in your way, it is not really your problem but theirs.  If they cannot accept that you might have skills they don’t have which are needed in a certain company situation, they have failed to learn the basic rules from their childhood.  There is nothing you can do about this kind of ignorance.  You can be compassionate but at the same time you must walk your way with dignity and commitment.

The good news is that most co-workers will be on your side even though you have moved ahead of them as long as you stay authentic and continue to be the person you are.  Yes, there are company secrets you cannot share with them and there will be gossip that you can no longer participate in, but overall the good relationships of the past will remain, even when the dynamics will change.  Nevertheless don’t underestimate the unavoidable side effect.  The higher you climb up the corporate ladder, the lonelier it is going to be.  This has nothing to do with co-workers not liking you.  It is the price you pay for being a leader.  Suddenly you must take care of others, while others do not necessarily take care of you.  Don’t worry about what others may think of you and don’t make their attitude your driver for success.  Instead be the best leader you can be, and others will respect you and follow you with enthusiasm.  They might even have coffee with you like in the old days!

Be a woman and act like one.

Permission to Reprint: You may reprint any items from “Climb the Ladder with Dignity and Compassion” in your print or electronic newsletter. But please include the following paragraph:

Reprinted from “Hertha Wolff-Arend | Be a Woman and Act Like One” a blog  written by Hertha Wolff-Arend.  Subscribe at http://beawomanandactlikeone.com/ and receive Blog updates by email.

If you like these tips, please pass them on to your friends, clients and colleagues.

 

Become a fan and follow me on Facebook!

About Hertha Wolff-Arend

I am a business coach and writer located in Paso Robles, California. I am the author of the book Be a woman and act like one. Succeeding in business and life’’ and I write a blog for women with the same title. I give motivational speeches and offer leadership and personality trainings to women. I also work with business owners and managers to support them in their leadership skills and personal development. As a strategic consultant, I also help companies with their communication and marketing strategy. Born and raised in Germany, I spent most of my adult life in Europe. I have a German university degree in languages and economics and I worked for many years in the advertising industry as one of the few female managing directors in Germany for major international advertising agencies such as Young&Rubicam, TBWA and Bates. My client list consisted of mainly blue chip clients, where I was responsible for their communications strategies and the development and execution of the advertising concepts. Just to name a few clients: Lufthansa, Danone, Kraft Foods, Bosch, Singapore Airlines, Ericsson, Campbells etc. In 2004 I relocated with my husband and son to California. I graduated from New Venture West in San Francisco as a Certified Integral Coach and started my own coaching practice in 2007. I am fluent in German and English and have conversational skills in Spanish. Aside from my dedication to work and family, I am a passionate dressage rider. I am devoted to supporting women in business, with a focus on women in the lower and middle management who are aiming at a career in the higher ranks or who want to develop their own business.
This entry was posted in Hertha Wolff-Arend and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Climb the Ladder with Dignity and Compassion

  1. I can appreciate and agree with your idea that we all have God given equality as people but this does not mean we are the same. We are not all the same. “From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.” It is a great responsibility to be a leader and to be entrusted with much. And immaturity in those who covet the position or belongings of others is the culprit…wouldn’t they like the liberty to grow to leadership heights or to work towards owning great things? I certainly want the liberty and applaud others who work towards great things.

  2. Cynthia Sistek-Chandler, Ed D says:

    Being in a leadership position is sometimes wrought with discomfort. This however comes with the territory; the ability to make decisions that impact others is a true skill, one that is best practiced with thoughtfulness and civility. Treat others the way you want to be treated but don’t forget, that you are your own boss so remember to treat yourself the same or better than others.

  3. Along with talents recognized is often the dumping of more duties. In the past, whether a professional promotion, new class, or volunteer leadership I’ve taken more upon myself to keep the relationships rather than let them naturally change along with new position. I suppose that stepping into the new role which usually meanth heightened responsibility and more visibility of strengths, vision and achievements has been met with a personal compromise (if not sabotage). I’ve experienced that along with the promotion I find myself saying yes to….could you also do this? Or, …..someone has to cover this before the project could happen? or….who will do this if you move one? I’ve ended up absorbing way too many details based on my old skills set, possibly to not alienate the friends and more likely because I did not embrace my accomplishments, let them go and move along. Its clear that others often believe in me a great deal more than I myself. But this article keeps me plugging away….climbing and aspiring.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>