Women in business often face the dilemma of how to balance their private life and their business life. They want to be successful in both areas of their life and they want to give more than 100% to show commitment and devotion to their tasks. How can they do that with a 24 hour day, reduced by at least 6 hours and better 7 – 8 hours for a good night’s sleep?
You might think this is purely a time management issue. “Plan your time carefully and make sure that every minute is used accordingly. Don’t spend too much time in the bathroom, because that might ruin the whole schedule of the day!” What a nightmare! Yes, reasonable time management is important, but this alone does not bring you the balance you are looking for. There must be additional ways to find balance and peace of mind.
Just recently I visited an event by the Central Coast Network of Women, CCNW, in San Luis Obispo. I had the opportunity to ask a group of women exactly the question: How do you balance business and your private life? The answers were very interesting and showed how businesswomen were dealing with the problem. The most frequent answer had to do with support from the family. Some women said that they were only able to find balance because they get full support. Another woman made a valid point by stressing the aspect of self-care. She said that she always made sure that she had enough time for herself to build inner strength and stability. Another woman admitted that she did not find the desired balance and that she made her choice when by focusing on either work or her private life. She said that when she became a mother she concentrated her energy on her family and now, at an older age with the kids out of the house, she was back on her business track.
Balance must not mean walking a high-wire and instead involves finding meaning and peace with what we are doing. We have this one life to live and nobody knows how long that life is going to be. Finding balance has to do with setting priorities. Decide what is important for you and make room in your life for it. Don’t waste your life with “stuff” and unnecessary duties. Stay focused on the ones you love and the projects you like. Everything else can wait or perhaps simply be ignored. This is where good time management makes sense. But watch out! Manage the time for what you want to do and not for what others expect you to squeeze into the day.
Take very good care of yourself by taking care of your personal needs and requirements. Any functioning engine needs good maintenance – a healthy body and mind need care. Do not use up all your energy and forget to refill. Whatever it takes to make you feel good is what you need to do to keep the engine going. I call it pampering your mind and body, which can involve simply doing nothing or relaxing activities such as taking a bath, getting a massage, Yoga, walking the dog, reading a good book or listening to music … the list is endless.
A special word to all working moms tortured by guilt: There is no right and wrong and don’t let outsiders’ judgments be your guide. You know that you are a good mom and that, at the same time, you are a good manager. Don’t force yourself into a role that makes you unhappy. Instead try to find a job and an employer that allows you to be a working mom in a way that feels right to you. There are companies that appreciate women like you and will support you as long as you are reliable, skilled and enthusiastic about your job. I have worked with many moms, and they were among the best managers I ever saw. Yes, occasionally they left work earlier, which was fine with me. Most of the time they showed commitment and effort to do a great job, and that was more than I got from some other employees who did not have to fulfill several roles in life. You can do anything you like without feeling guilty. Find the company that is right for you and that gives you the room to live the life of a devoted working mom. One more thought. Don’t forget the option of building your own business. Become your own boss and decide how you split your time between your business and your family.
Let me conclude by encouraging women to be the composers of their lives. Make sure that you live your life the way you want to. Pick an education and job you enjoy, and spend your time with people you love and who love you. Imagine you are composing your own symphony of life. Make it a beautiful piece of art that makes you proud and happy.
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Reprinted from “Hertha Wolff-Arend | Be a Woman and Act Like One” a blog written by Hertha Wolff-Arend. Subscribe at http://beawomanandactlikeone.com/ and receive Blog updates by email.
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