Are you in a happy relationship with yourself and others?

Single women often ask the following questions: How can I find a partner? Are there any eligible men in the area? What is the best way to meet someone? How do I know a man is the right fit for me? Can I trust again after the last guy cheated on me? Do I really want to be in a relationship? If you are a single woman, these questions probably seem familiar to you. Welcome to the club of women who are still seeking a partnership and wondering where the answers to the unfulfilled wishes are.

Women in a relationship, married or unmarried are asking different questions. How can I get this relationship to work? Is he loyal to me? Will this relationship last in the future? Can I fully trust him? Why can’t he show more love? Can’t he give me more attention? This seems like a different club of women, dreaming of the perfect relationship that may or may not exist.

Even though it seems like there are two groups of women with different issues, they actually belong to one group. I call this one group: the women’s “quiz club. The rules of the club are simple. Let’s ask tricky questions and contemplate the answers. As simple as it sounds, it is a very intellectual club because most members are sophisticated, smart and do not hesitate to dig really deep to find answers to the quiz questions. The harder the questions, the more they all work themselves up to finding answers.

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As a former member of this club, I know how stressful and energy-sucking a “quiz club” membership is. You can stay in the club as you long as you wish. Some are lifelong members, but fortunately many women also leave this club sooner or later in life. What makes them leave the quiz club? They finally decide that the more questions they ask, the more answers they come up with and the more they get tied up in a process that takes place outside of themselves. The answers and questions to your relationship issues are in yourself – no comment and group discussion needed.

The “quiz club” may sound sarcastic and judgmental, but let’s think about it. Women spend a lot of time talking and disagreeing with other women about their relationships or lack of relationships. They discuss it, look at it from all angles, more questions and doubts appear – it is a vicious cycle. The result of this process is short-term stress release, but long-term frustration. This cannot be the life you are longing for.

Instead of asking questions and searching for answers elsewhere, I would like to invite you to live a happy life – a life where happiness is rooted inside of you. Happiness that is not dependent on talking, disagreeing, asking and questioning – it comes from the inside out and is not dependent on rewards and attention. This is how you can find true and lasting happiness – inside yourself, calmly, with no membership in the quiz club required.

I personally believe that you can find true happiness from within by connecting with nature. Entering a word-free zone, connecting with your feelings, senses and liberating yourself from the opinion of others will help you to find out what makes you happy. It is a journey into the unknown which has only one rule: be true to yourself. Once you find your own happiness, you will develop charisma and your overall being will be so intriguing to others that finding a partner and living in a healthy relationship will not be an issue any more. You will turn into a magnet others are attracted to, and it will be in your power to make healthy choices for yourself.

In my work with horses, I help women to find inner happiness. Horses are like humans seeking relationships, which is why they prefer living in herds. Horses want to know where their place in the herd is and they want to feel safe. They connect with others without losing themselves. This is why they are excellent role models for us, and they can help us to connect with ourselves and nature – it is a healing process.

I offer personal and business coaching workshops with horses to help you find your inner happiness. Let me know if you are interested and I will get a group together for a wonderful day of discovery.

Drop your quiz club membership off at the door and join me on a journey to finding true happiness. Effects can be a healthy relationship or even marriage!

Be a woman and act like one.

About Hertha Wolff-Arend

I am a business coach and writer located in Paso Robles, California. I am the author of the book Be a woman and act like one. Succeeding in business and life’’ and I write a blog for women with the same title. I give motivational speeches and offer leadership and personality trainings to women. I also work with business owners and managers to support them in their leadership skills and personal development. As a strategic consultant, I also help companies with their communication and marketing strategy. Born and raised in Germany, I spent most of my adult life in Europe. I have a German university degree in languages and economics and I worked for many years in the advertising industry as one of the few female managing directors in Germany for major international advertising agencies such as Young&Rubicam, TBWA and Bates. My client list consisted of mainly blue chip clients, where I was responsible for their communications strategies and the development and execution of the advertising concepts. Just to name a few clients: Lufthansa, Danone, Kraft Foods, Bosch, Singapore Airlines, Ericsson, Campbells etc. In 2004 I relocated with my husband and son to California. I graduated from New Venture West in San Francisco as a Certified Integral Coach and started my own coaching practice in 2007. I am fluent in German and English and have conversational skills in Spanish. Aside from my dedication to work and family, I am a passionate dressage rider. I am devoted to supporting women in business, with a focus on women in the lower and middle management who are aiming at a career in the higher ranks or who want to develop their own business.
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