The Art of Aging wisely and how to confront the Enemy

Part 3

Finally over 40!

An homage to the women over 40 and older – much, much older

When I was about 16 years old, I bought my mother a book for her birthday with the title, Hooray, I am finally over 40.  I knew my mother was struggling with aging and I wanted to cheer her up with some uplifting reading.  I also remember that I thought 40 years was really old.  I could not see any reason for happiness or joy at getting that old.  But I wanted to be supportive and bought that book.  She may not have even read it.  In any event, I had the best intentions and supposedly it is the thought that counts.When I started writing about the topic of aging, this book came back to me.  Now, I confess to being over 50 years old, and I can finally relate to the joy of having entered into the more mature part of life.  Of course, aging is not pure joy.  There are the inevitable aches and pains, and severe illnesses increasingly challenge us as we get older.  Nevertheless, I intend to focus on the joy older age can bring us, no matter whether we still have the gift of health.

My mother-in-law embodies graceful aging.  She is almost 92 years old and my role model.  She is blessed with decent health, but she does not take it for granted and she takes very good care of herself.  Her positive attitude and her cheerfulness are outstanding.  It is so much fun to be with her.  I have never heard her complain or seen her being miserable and moody.  If I was an artist, I would draw a picture of her classic position:  Sitting at a table, in front of her a book, maybe a cup of coffee or a glass of wine next to her while she celebrates reading her book. Yes, she celebrates reading as much as she celebrates everything she is does.  She always enjoys the sparkle of the moment.  When you enter her house, you feel the peace and contentment she has created around her.  And whenever she starts feeling a bit uncomfortable or a bit tired, she withdraws to her room for a brief rest to return as energized and eager as ever.

Wouldn’t you love to live and experience intensity of the moment, fully enjoying every day that you are permitted to be alive.  Aging has its challenges, but when we learn to take every day as a gift, we are able to cherish the moment much more.

I am lucky to know several women who have become much more content, with a sense of accomplish in their older age.  Yet it is so easy to miss the positive side of aging because of the natural tendency to focus on the unavoidable downside.  As we pass 40, we sense that we have entered the second half of our lives.  If you are negatively disposed, you grieve the loss of youth and feel that you have already lost half your life.  A positive person reacts with, “Great, I have a good 40 years to do whatever I want.”  Yes, it’s that thing about whether the glass is half full or half empty.  If you can truly see that the glass is half full instead of half empty, you passage through the rest of your life will be much easier and enjoyable, no matter the challenges you face.

I have met women over 50 struggling with cancer or other life-threatening diseases who still keep their positive attitude towards life and refuse to surrender their cheerfulness and optimism.  My very dear friend Becky, who was recently diagnosed with cancer, is the most beautiful person you can imagine.  Her beauty expresses itself in her very nature, her good spirits and her great courage.  She has already gone through a lot in life, and she is taking on the challenge of being severely ill in the same, outstanding manner.  She doesn’t complain or express anger at the cards she has been dealt.  Instead she expresses gratefulness and love for being alive, and she enjoys the company of loving family members and friends.  She shows me every time I see her that I don’t have to be afraid of life or aging.  I have it within my own power to be happy and get the most out of my life, no matter what comes.

Look around at the older women you know.  You will certainly find inspiration and stories to share.  Perhaps you will realize that your own story is one of them.  Please, share these role model stories with your friends.  Let us all celebrate being alive, being happy and being women with power and strong spirits – no matter how old we are.

On my next trip to Germany, I have to look for that book again just in case my mother has kept it on her bookshelf.

Be a woman and act like one.

Share your story on this blog. It is a way to support other women who might struggle with aging and who will find strength through your way of looking at life.

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