My wonderful friend Becky recently passed away. She suffered from cancer for over a year. Nevertheless the message of her death came unexpectedly. She was a woman you wanted to live forever but she did not. It is not difficult to describe her because she was pure like fresh mountain water. I loved her for the beauty of her character and simply for her true-self.
Becky was my first coaching client, my son’s pre-school principal and a very good friend. Never before in my life have I met a woman like her who was so compassionate, gracious and loving. She shared her love, her small wealth and her being with everybody who needed help. Giving was second nature to her and she gave to everybody who needed help. She never expected anything in return. She did not have a hidden agenda. She did not give to earn respect or appreciation. There was no self-interest involved in any of her deeds.
Becky was a very special woman, and that she had to become so sick and struck by destiny seems unfair. Why her? What was the deep meaning of her suffering? Why did she have to go so soon? Who wrote the script for that sad story? I don’t know the answers, but I know that she left the world in peace, because her faith and courage helped her until the very end to accept her life’s script.
When I met her for the last time a couple of weeks ago, we had lunch at a Mexican restaurant. She was cheerful even when we talked about her fatal disease and painful treatment. She knew she was not healthy and she knew she would not recover. She took every day as it was, hoping for more time – months or even years. We made plans to travel to Mexico together so that she could visit her brother. She liked the idea and I truly believed it would happen. I don’t know if she just made me believe that we would take the trip next year to keep me calm and happy or if she truly believed it herself. Since she never showed any real fear of death, I am not quite sure what she felt when we talked about the travel plans. I would not be surprised if she left me thinking that we were going to make the trip in winter or spring in order not to scare me. I did not know that this last lunch was the last time I would ever see her again.
Becky made me a better person and I am sure she strongly affected other peoples’ lives, too. I believe that we can all learn from her courage – the way she faced life and its challenges. We can also learn from her gentleness – simply being compassionate and loving. Sometimes it seems that courage and gentleness are opposites that don’t work very well together and therefore we tend to be either on the tough side or on the gentle side. Wrong! Becky taught me better and I know that we can unite the so-called opposites and let them be partners. We have choices in life and my choice is clear:
I will follow Becky’s legacy and develop my courage as well as my gentleness. I want to face life with the same courage Becky did and I want to live my life without fear, no matter what is going to happen to me. I will also allow my gentleness to be part of my being and doing without worrying about losing myself.
Becky left far too soon, but she will always be with us in our hearts. She was good, she meant good and she made the ones who knew her closely good people simply by setting an example.
Thanks my friend for being part of my life. I will be forever grateful and I will never forget you.
