Why successful women need a BFF, or two!

What would life be without our best female friend?  No gossiping, no tandem-crying when watching a chick flick in the movie theater, no exhausting shopping tours and above all no compassion when it comes to dealing with the male counterparts.  We all need our girlfriends and especially our best girlfriends who know more about us than anybody else.

BFF

What men often consider artificial and redundant is indeed the most important relationship we women have.  We can be happily married or happily single, yet we need our BFF more than anybody else.

Who is a true BFF?

A true BFF is more than just a shopping partner.  A true BFF is the one and only person who listens to you without judgment and is always on your side no matter how wrongly you might have behaved.  She is simply your best friend and there is nothing in this world that can destroy this deep affection and loyalty.  A BFF loves you almost like your mom and dad – unconditionally.  She does not want to change you.  She loves you for who you are with all your ups and downs.  A true BFF will tell you the truth even though it can be hurtful, but she will not withdraw from you because you did not live up to her expectations.  Even though she is your best friend, she can be your toughest critic.  Nevertheless she will never allow any negative feelings to come between you.  She will never envy your successes and she will never question your abilities.  A true BFF is hard to find, but once you found her she is irreplaceable and plays a major role in your life.

Now what?

The definition of a true BFF might sound like a dream come true. If you get lucky you might have even more than one BFF.  It all begins with you.  Do you have BFF potential?  It always needs two to make a couple and it always takes two to build a long-term BFF relationship.  Women with BFF potential often have at least one best female friend, while the ones without these skills often do not have these close relationships with other women.  I think these women really miss a valuable experience and the support of a true friend.

The importance of the best female friend

The higher you climb up the career ladder, the more you are going to need your best female friend.  You will have no real friends at work and, therefore, you need more support outside the company.  You want to talk about your worries, your struggles and your successes to a person you can fully trust.  You want to talk from woman to woman about your experiences at work, and you long for the female perspective on certain issues.  Your true BFF can be the one person who listens to you, supports you and empowers you.  She is your filter when you deal with anger, and she is like a journal patiently holding all your secrets sealed and safe.

There is so much to say in favor of the best female friend in your life, but the question remains how to find her and when you find her, how to keep her in your life.

I am lucky to have several wonderful female friends who are very close to me.  However, the few with BFF potential are different in distinct areas.  Let me share with you what I think distinguishes a good friend from the best female friend:

She always senses when I need her and then she is there for me without prior notice.

The minute she comes through the door, we are able to pick up where we left off.  This can be after a day, a week or even be months ago.

She mirrors my emotional make-up saying she feels what I feel without further explanations.  It is almost like chemistry.

She offers her support at any time and it never seems to be too much to ask for.

She makes me feel relaxed and comfortable. It is easy to be around her.

She shares my sense of humor, laughs and cries with me.

She loves and respects me the way I am.

She is my biggest supporter and my toughest critic.  It is her privilege to say things I would kill others for!

She is the first person crossing my mind when I need to urgently talk to somebody other than my husband or parents.

Once you have found this quality in a friend, you better make sure to keep her in your life.  How?  The answer is simple.  Be for her what she is for you.  Thus. your relationship is balanced and happens on an eye to eye level.  It must be a mutual experience and not just a one side affection to make it work for a lifetime.

Final thoughts

My praise for the best female friend does not imply that you can’t have male friends or that your family is not good enough.  The BFF does not replace your family, but she is a wonderful addition, and there is nobody else who better shares your female struggles with you than another female.

Go for it and enjoy the pleasures of true women friendship.  Please share your story of true friendship and why you think it is important to have this kind of a relationship in your life.

Be a woman and act like one.

Become a fan and follow me on Facebook!

About Hertha Wolff-Arend

I am a business coach and writer located in Paso Robles, California. I am the author of the book Be a woman and act like one. Succeeding in business and life’’ and I write a blog for women with the same title. I give motivational speeches and offer leadership and personality trainings to women. I also work with business owners and managers to support them in their leadership skills and personal development. As a strategic consultant, I also help companies with their communication and marketing strategy. Born and raised in Germany, I spent most of my adult life in Europe. I have a German university degree in languages and economics and I worked for many years in the advertising industry as one of the few female managing directors in Germany for major international advertising agencies such as Young&Rubicam, TBWA and Bates. My client list consisted of mainly blue chip clients, where I was responsible for their communications strategies and the development and execution of the advertising concepts. Just to name a few clients: Lufthansa, Danone, Kraft Foods, Bosch, Singapore Airlines, Ericsson, Campbells etc. In 2004 I relocated with my husband and son to California. I graduated from New Venture West in San Francisco as a Certified Integral Coach and started my own coaching practice in 2007. I am fluent in German and English and have conversational skills in Spanish. Aside from my dedication to work and family, I am a passionate dressage rider. I am devoted to supporting women in business, with a focus on women in the lower and middle management who are aiming at a career in the higher ranks or who want to develop their own business.
This entry was posted in Hertha Wolff-Arend, Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Why successful women need a BFF, or two!

  1. Monica F. Fischer says:

    I am so fortunate since I have the most wonderful BFF – smile!!!!!!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>